Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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