if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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