That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
