I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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