"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I think a kid would responsible me up
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
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