Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Randomize
