I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
It was confusing and full of hummus
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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