I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
