I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
