I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
