Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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