hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize