Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
We just shotgunned beers for America
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
