The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
