god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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