I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
