i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
