Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I got inside last night via doggy door
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
