I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Randomize
