Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Randomize
