**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
