he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
