i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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