Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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