just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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