Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
