Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
how does that bad decision feel?
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
