Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize