just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
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