if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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