i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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