It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
