glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize