I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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