was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Come on in and take your pants off
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