Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
