Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
