This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
