he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
