That's intense
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
