this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I have already put on my inside pants.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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