please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
