doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
