Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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