I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
That reminds me...we need to get swords
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize