problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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