I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
