oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
