so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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