so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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