I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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