He is an equal opportunity slut.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
