Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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