yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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