Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize