i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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