U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Randomize
