I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
