You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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