My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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