I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Randomize
