i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
