i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
