I feel like I'm in dance class right now
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Randomize
