Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
