My nipple is on Facebook.
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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