I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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