all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
