At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
