You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
