I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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