I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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