At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
