can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Everyone says I win the strip club
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
