Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
