How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
did i just pee glitter
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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