if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
