My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Randomize
