it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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